"And your message sounded a lot more like an order than apolite invitation."Rachel laughed. "I guess Tommi is rubbing off on me, too. I guess Ineed more practice on diplomacy and subtlety." So?" Katie asked directly.Rachel sighed. "You're studying psychology, aren't you?" Yes," Katie answered hesitantly. "Junior year." So you know that a person's psyche can be ... fragile."Katie took a quick breath. "Look, um ... Doctor McKnight ...." She wasclearly struggling with how formal or informal she should be withRachel."Rachel. I don't stand on formality." Uh, okay," Katie answered hesitantly.Rachel wrinkled her brow. "You're not too comfortable with that?"Katie winced. "Uh, not really. You've got your PhD," she noted, "andI'm just a student. It just doesn't seem right." Okay. It's up to you." She leaned back and took a deep breath."Why? Why did you give Tom ... Tommi ... such an extreme makeover? Youknow this whole process is very stressful for her."Katie nodded. "Yeah, I. ’ I was eighteen and thought I was sophisticated but I couldn’t handle her. It was not like I had been writing a diary for a million years. How could I be eighteen? I must be twenty-five. I was born in 1965. It is is now 1992, and in October I will be 26. I started counting backward in my dream. When I hit the ground my breasts flopped out of my tee shirt. I felt as if I had split open, divided. I was full, pregnant, about to burst. My legs trembled, and I needed to touch myself, but then I restrained my hand. 2. When I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, I remembered this cell. The walls were cinderblock. There was one window covered with paint from the outside. Lights flashed when I walked. I scratched another line on the floor with a nail I had found buried in the wall. I carefully put it back. I have been here for fifty days. I was surprised how deeply I felt pleasure not pain when my captor, the man called Abel, made me fuck him. I hoped that was a dream too, and as one, I could.
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